My readers, who eagerly await updates of my oh so exciting life, should be pumped to learn that I was in SoCal last week. What what! My sister and I enjoyed a day in San Francisco and then spent the next morning and afternoon driving to San Diego. We were able to spend a few hours at Ocean Beach (maybe that was the name?? not sure....) and frolic about in the Pacific before getting extremely wasted in downtown San Diego bars. Ha, just kidding. The third day we chilled at San Diego Sea World and were part of the very last audience to watch Shamu (all four of them.... very confusing.... the original is probably dead, kids....) perform "Believe." O, the memories! One day I might be able to share pictures of the affair.... if only I could figure out how to get them from the phone to the laptop. Blast my technological incompetence!
In other news.... I was not excited to return home, but lattes must be made and excellent customer service rendered so that the cat might have chow. Such is life. I recently considered applying for Flight Attendant positions, but I find that such a career may not be compatible with my intense fear of flying. Travelling is excellent fun. Flying solo with an overactive imagination is not. I wish we could "poof" to our destinations.
Anyway.... I'm out to go swim in our dirty, child-filled apartment complex pool. Huzzah!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Ode to Sweet Pea
Ah God, the first post of this year appears in May. The consistent lack of updating is really quite distasteful, I do think. In my defense, I have begun several posts but left them discarded in the "draft file," as they mostly focused on my hatred for my current job. Who wants to read about that?? No one. Here's an idea: instead of wasting loads of time complaining about the job, why not channel that energy into finding a new one? Ah, but that would be too easy and logical, O Readers! Indeed.
Anyway, if I can ever figure out how to transfer pictures from my new touch phone (that's right, bit**es, it's a motorola citrus, much more efficient than an iphone....) to the computer, I would like to relate my stories of the Newport Aquarium and Tornado Warnings. I have an excellent shot of my fellow coworkers huddled round in the women's bathroom during lockdown, as a large funnel passed through Lexington just miles from our store.
In other news, I have been following the current cycle of America's. Next. Top. Model., as I hope all of my readers have. I must confess to disappointment in this season's final contestants.... One is angry and foul-mouthed, one is mousy and cries too much, and the third is boring and needs to learn how to enunciate. Alas, if only we could bring back the CariDees and Melroses of past Top Models! Even the cycle villains are lack-lustre. At least Tyra is still pretty entertaining, and I am quite in love with Mr. Jay. Huzzah!
And look, we have now produced a post! Quick, to the publish button! This one shall not waste away with its brethren in the Dreaded Draft File, from whence no post shall return!!!!
Cheers.
Anyway, if I can ever figure out how to transfer pictures from my new touch phone (that's right, bit**es, it's a motorola citrus, much more efficient than an iphone....) to the computer, I would like to relate my stories of the Newport Aquarium and Tornado Warnings. I have an excellent shot of my fellow coworkers huddled round in the women's bathroom during lockdown, as a large funnel passed through Lexington just miles from our store.
In other news, I have been following the current cycle of America's. Next. Top. Model., as I hope all of my readers have. I must confess to disappointment in this season's final contestants.... One is angry and foul-mouthed, one is mousy and cries too much, and the third is boring and needs to learn how to enunciate. Alas, if only we could bring back the CariDees and Melroses of past Top Models! Even the cycle villains are lack-lustre. At least Tyra is still pretty entertaining, and I am quite in love with Mr. Jay. Huzzah!
And look, we have now produced a post! Quick, to the publish button! This one shall not waste away with its brethren in the Dreaded Draft File, from whence no post shall return!!!!
Cheers.
Friday, December 31, 2010
What you Waitin' For, Foo'?
So.... with the coming of the new year I have decided (as I always do.... as most people always do....) that changes must be wrought upon my current lifestyle. My day mostly consists of preparing coffee beverages for Lexington's elite (and for the occasional savage who fails to recognise the difference between a latte and a cappuccino) and sleeping. As you might imagine, nothing about that routine is even remotely inspiring and I fear that my life has become a shell of its former self.... Ah, the drama inherent in old cliches.... I think it's time that such concepts as "exercise" and "sensible eating" no longer register warning bells in my head and leave a sick sensation in my gut. A jog around the block will not kill me unless I run in front of a bus, and even then the bus, and not physical exertion, will have been the unlikely culprit.
In other news.... I have now watched all three seasons of True Blood and eagerly await the airing of season four. However, our lack of souped-up cable options presents a problem, since we cannot watch the episodes as they air.... unless some clever series devotee streams the episodes illegally online.... Ha, not that I support that kind of thing AT ALL. Geez.
Anyway.... that's about all I got. Onward!
Cheers.
In other news.... I have now watched all three seasons of True Blood and eagerly await the airing of season four. However, our lack of souped-up cable options presents a problem, since we cannot watch the episodes as they air.... unless some clever series devotee streams the episodes illegally online.... Ha, not that I support that kind of thing AT ALL. Geez.
Anyway.... that's about all I got. Onward!
Cheers.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Slept Right Through It
The rabble's getting uppity due to the stunning lack of recent posts, so I now take to the Blog to update my three regular readers.... I shall begin by first issuing a warning: Readers, beware when entering your local Starbucks! Flavoured Via (a.k.a. flavoured instant coffee.... cos that's pretty much what it is, no matter how much the barista on shift insists the contrary) was unveiled yesterday and nearly every customer interaction has become, "Buy flavoured Via, $6.95 for a pack of 6. Nah, it's not instant coffee...." The only thing that makes selling Via any fun is experiencing the wide range of consumer reactions. Clay, a fellow barista, was unlucky enough to catch a woman on a bad day (giving her the benefit of the doubt....), offer her a free sample, and be rebuffed with a, "I don't want any of that shit." A simple, "No, thank you," would have sufficed, but ya know.... I was stuck working the front and two women approached the counter, and before I could even offer a sample I was informed in no uncertain terms that "Starbucks's coffee sucks, you people don't know how to make it right." I think she was looking for a reaction.... but I replied with a, "That's nice," and she haughtily ordered a chai and left. Dude, some people are really ridiculous and they all seem to find our store.... Sad day for us.
In other news.... Lexington has been hosting the Equestrian Games, perhaps some of you have watched them on the telly. Yeah, it's kind of a big deal. You can google it for more info cos pretty much all I have to say about them relates back to work and that's no fun.
Ever diligent in my pursuit of bad television, I have begun netflixing True Blood episodes. It's pretty much what one might expect.... like a "grown-up" Southern version of Twilight that lasts a lot longer. But hey, ya gotta have something to get you through the long nights till America's. Next. Top. Model. returns....
And that's about it. Until next time....
Cheers.
In other news.... Lexington has been hosting the Equestrian Games, perhaps some of you have watched them on the telly. Yeah, it's kind of a big deal. You can google it for more info cos pretty much all I have to say about them relates back to work and that's no fun.
Ever diligent in my pursuit of bad television, I have begun netflixing True Blood episodes. It's pretty much what one might expect.... like a "grown-up" Southern version of Twilight that lasts a lot longer. But hey, ya gotta have something to get you through the long nights till America's. Next. Top. Model. returns....
And that's about it. Until next time....
Cheers.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Prairie Fire That Wanders About
I thought I detected the odour of forest fire the other day.... but I think I was quite mistaken. We're no longer in Kansas, after all.... We're in Ken-TUH-ky damn it.
My shift at Starbucks was rather depressing today.... After kicking some serious frappe ass in the morning, I was set loose and alone on the bloody damned drive thru (drive thru=fast food, I don't care if you ARE the finest purveyor of coffee in the world) and I funked it up. Ack. And now I've had several hours to sit in solitary confinement and brood on the misery of it all. You know when you've had a particularly bad day punctuated with little bits of humiliation here and there, and the memory of those bits plagues you for hours/days afterwards? Yeah, it's something along those lines. Apparently 3 hours of practical experience and the vaguest knowledge of the menu leaves one qualified to man the drive thru station solo during the After School Rush. I call bs. And now it's ruined my night. Target, why the hell didn't you call?? Why can't I just teach writing at a community college? I'd rather grade memos than make coffee. O Life.
Anyway, I appear to be straddling the line of Emo, so a brisk change in subject is in order. What else to write of?.... as I sit and kill time on the laptop, playing songs that also kinda reek of Emo.... at least they are not set to repeat. OOH, Schmitty burn!
I guess the overwhelming positive is that I have a job and can soon begin to squander millions on shabby chic furnishings for my super-sweet new apartment. I'm also considering a sauna and room for a pony.
Cheers.
My shift at Starbucks was rather depressing today.... After kicking some serious frappe ass in the morning, I was set loose and alone on the bloody damned drive thru (drive thru=fast food, I don't care if you ARE the finest purveyor of coffee in the world) and I funked it up. Ack. And now I've had several hours to sit in solitary confinement and brood on the misery of it all. You know when you've had a particularly bad day punctuated with little bits of humiliation here and there, and the memory of those bits plagues you for hours/days afterwards? Yeah, it's something along those lines. Apparently 3 hours of practical experience and the vaguest knowledge of the menu leaves one qualified to man the drive thru station solo during the After School Rush. I call bs. And now it's ruined my night. Target, why the hell didn't you call?? Why can't I just teach writing at a community college? I'd rather grade memos than make coffee. O Life.
Anyway, I appear to be straddling the line of Emo, so a brisk change in subject is in order. What else to write of?.... as I sit and kill time on the laptop, playing songs that also kinda reek of Emo.... at least they are not set to repeat. OOH, Schmitty burn!
I guess the overwhelming positive is that I have a job and can soon begin to squander millions on shabby chic furnishings for my super-sweet new apartment. I'm also considering a sauna and room for a pony.
Cheers.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Appalachian Americans Take the Nation by Storm
This post is goin' out to my old man, who's hanging tight in the O.C. doing Pod F'ing K proud. Here's to the true working man! Which brings us to our subject for the day.... I have obtained employment! You can find me at one of Lexington's many...... Starbucks locations! Huzzah! It's actually not so bad as it might sound.... Baristaing at Coal Creek in Wyoming sucked loads more and Starbucks has benefits and my location has some pretty cool peeps. When I blank the ingredients for a tall caramel frappuccino they got my back, ya know what I'm sayin'? Prep that pump of caramel, bi***! In addition to excellent benefits (I can get my teeth cleaned again!.... t.m.i.) I also get discounts on my phone bill and cheap coffee whenever I patronise fellow Starbucks stores.
Right. Well, I just finished today's training shift so I'm gonna have a hot pocket (lunch of champions OBviously) and a look at today's more tawdry headlines.
Cheers.
Right. Well, I just finished today's training shift so I'm gonna have a hot pocket (lunch of champions OBviously) and a look at today's more tawdry headlines.
Cheers.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
We Come From Potato, Idaho....
Greetings, one and all, from Lexington, Kentucky, and welcome to the beginnings of Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch: The Kentucky Years! We have travelled a long way from the small hamlet of Potato, Idaho, and now make our home in the hills of bluegrass country. Huzzah!
Our journey began one fine morning, two Saturdays ago, as we quit the small town of Moscow, Idaho, and crossed several mountain passes to gain the former mining town of Helena, Montana, our first day's destination. The young cat called Caesar rode in my car the entire way and could not get quite comfortable, as he disdained the covers and pillows laid out for him in the backseat in favour of the driver's headrest. We reached Helena shortly after midday and passed the rest of the time in happy company, plotting the remainder of our trip with jovial spirits.
The next day witnessed our departure from my beloved lands, and I felt not a little despondent as we passed signs confirming our proximity to Yellowstone National Park, and as we stopped in Livingston, Montana, for a short break and gas. Alas, it was too soon that we left the lovely Paradise Valley in our wake and drove beyond the state boundaries into northern Wyoming. However, our weary spirits were much assuaged at the end of the day, when we reached our former home of Laramie, Wyoming, and, seeing to the young cat's comfort, rediscovered our old abode, our favourite former haunts, and, of course, the trains!
Nearly the whole of the third day was spent crossing Nebraska. We pulled over at a gas station, where a sign hanging above the door informed us that, "You are Nowhere," and I thought that truer words had never before met my eyes. We crossed the majority of Nebraska without incident, and then managed to take a wrong turn somewhere in Lincoln, and in the process missed the road that should have led us to Nebraska City. It was of little consequence, however, for Smith the Navigator led us on a wild tour of the Nebraska backcountry and eventually restored us to our course. We reached Kansas City, Missouri, in good time and there spent the third night.
The fourth day was to be our last and we looked upon it with greater happiness and hope than we had the preceding days. Redbulls were no longer a necessity, as the road signs began to finally display the much-anticipated city names and were enough to keep us awake. We passed the arch of St. Louis and were able to snatch glances of it as we battled through mid-morning traffic. We then enjoyed the relative quietude of the Indiana and Illinois roadways, and then, in the midst of a gigantic torrent of rain, we crossed the Kentucky state line and entered our new home! The rain happily stopped somewhere outside of Louisville (pronounced Lulvul), but we met our next challenge in the huge traffic jam that greeted us just as we entered the city, as it was just then turning 5:00 pm. However, our out-of-state plates (where the hell is Idaho??) granted us a sort of free pass and people were quite kind in allowing us to maneuver about the lanes and thus ensure that we were Lexington-bound. Another hour put us just outside our new city of residence, and another few minutes had us at our hotel for the night. And we had made it! Huzzah!
We now boast a splendid residence in the south of Lexington, which, as I have come to learn, is quite the fashionable part of town. We are no further than 5 minutes from 17 Wal-Marts, 27 Kroger grocery stores, and 150 million gas stations. We live quite close to the university, though we will have to drive when it is time to once again take up our educational pursuits.
And through most of it all, Caesar Cat, who found his carrier in the backseat of the car outside of Billings on the second day, covered with a fluffy blanket to keep out the sun, slept in his Kitten Cave.
So there you have it. More to come....
Our journey began one fine morning, two Saturdays ago, as we quit the small town of Moscow, Idaho, and crossed several mountain passes to gain the former mining town of Helena, Montana, our first day's destination. The young cat called Caesar rode in my car the entire way and could not get quite comfortable, as he disdained the covers and pillows laid out for him in the backseat in favour of the driver's headrest. We reached Helena shortly after midday and passed the rest of the time in happy company, plotting the remainder of our trip with jovial spirits.
The next day witnessed our departure from my beloved lands, and I felt not a little despondent as we passed signs confirming our proximity to Yellowstone National Park, and as we stopped in Livingston, Montana, for a short break and gas. Alas, it was too soon that we left the lovely Paradise Valley in our wake and drove beyond the state boundaries into northern Wyoming. However, our weary spirits were much assuaged at the end of the day, when we reached our former home of Laramie, Wyoming, and, seeing to the young cat's comfort, rediscovered our old abode, our favourite former haunts, and, of course, the trains!
Nearly the whole of the third day was spent crossing Nebraska. We pulled over at a gas station, where a sign hanging above the door informed us that, "You are Nowhere," and I thought that truer words had never before met my eyes. We crossed the majority of Nebraska without incident, and then managed to take a wrong turn somewhere in Lincoln, and in the process missed the road that should have led us to Nebraska City. It was of little consequence, however, for Smith the Navigator led us on a wild tour of the Nebraska backcountry and eventually restored us to our course. We reached Kansas City, Missouri, in good time and there spent the third night.
The fourth day was to be our last and we looked upon it with greater happiness and hope than we had the preceding days. Redbulls were no longer a necessity, as the road signs began to finally display the much-anticipated city names and were enough to keep us awake. We passed the arch of St. Louis and were able to snatch glances of it as we battled through mid-morning traffic. We then enjoyed the relative quietude of the Indiana and Illinois roadways, and then, in the midst of a gigantic torrent of rain, we crossed the Kentucky state line and entered our new home! The rain happily stopped somewhere outside of Louisville (pronounced Lulvul), but we met our next challenge in the huge traffic jam that greeted us just as we entered the city, as it was just then turning 5:00 pm. However, our out-of-state plates (where the hell is Idaho??) granted us a sort of free pass and people were quite kind in allowing us to maneuver about the lanes and thus ensure that we were Lexington-bound. Another hour put us just outside our new city of residence, and another few minutes had us at our hotel for the night. And we had made it! Huzzah!
We now boast a splendid residence in the south of Lexington, which, as I have come to learn, is quite the fashionable part of town. We are no further than 5 minutes from 17 Wal-Marts, 27 Kroger grocery stores, and 150 million gas stations. We live quite close to the university, though we will have to drive when it is time to once again take up our educational pursuits.
And through most of it all, Caesar Cat, who found his carrier in the backseat of the car outside of Billings on the second day, covered with a fluffy blanket to keep out the sun, slept in his Kitten Cave.
So there you have it. More to come....
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